the lover boy is leaving me in 7 hours.
i wont be seeing him for a week.
at least there's skype and msn
when he's in america but now,
there's only gonna be a phone call.
perhaps when he's tired, i'll only get
a goodnight message.
its a totally different situation right now.
its a whole new game.

tensions are high now.
because time is slowly wasting away.
C and i almost quarrelled.
sometimes i question myself,
am i not being understanding enough?
what is the yard for being understanding.
i wanna achieve perfection
but each time i reach for it, it seems to
be going away from me. further and further.
anxiety. its driving me crazy.

seriously, this time i dont know what to do.
for the first time, i dont know how to go
about handling this situation.
having a loved one being away from me
for an extended period of time.
having a loved one as a ns man.
i dont know how. i really dont know.
maybe i should talk to my gfs.
those whose bfs were in the army.
maybe then will i know how to react/act.


/ its that queasy feeling you feel
when he leaves which reminds you that
there is no one else better for you.
tomorrow.